Collecting Cards

We met 25 years ago, discussing hockey in a message board. We got married 20 years ago, just as the 2004-05 NHL lockout was coming to an end. Hockey brought us together, but lots of more important things kept us together for my entire adult life. 

She did love the Devils though. My sister in law put together this collage, all the pictures are hers. That's Ken Daneyko at one of the many Devils meet and greets the family attended. In the center is a picture of the family before attending Game 2 of the 2012 Stanley Cup Finals. Di insisted on going despite being very pregnant with our second child. I stayed home with our first. Of course the game went to Overtime. She gave birth the next day. We watched Game 3 from her hospital bed. 

At one of those Devils Dinners (before Di and I met) she was at a table with Bob Carpenter.

Fun fact: Carpenter has been featured on the cover of Sports Illustrated.. but Martin Brodeur has not. 

Carpenter asked "who's your favorite hockey player?" likely assuming she'd say him, or at least one of his teammates.

"Trevor Linden" she replied.

Di has over a dozen NHL jerseys, including this authentic 1992-era Canucks sweater

She was always a Trevor fan, before she even liked the Devils. She once wrote to Hockey Illustrated asking the editor in chief why he wasn't featured. She cited reasons like being the youngest captain in the NHL, a rising star, and a top two-way forward. The EIC wrote her back and sent a regional cover. 

While she lived with her parents, Di collected hockey cards along with jerseys and magazines. Aside from a brief L.A. Rams fandom during Jim Everett's peak years, hockey was the only sport she liked. 

She had a knack for pulling Steve Yzerman and Curtis Joseph inserts. 

We sold the Run for the Cup insert for $570 three years ago.

These massive hits are still here. I don't plan on selling anything out of her collection - except maybe her Theo Fleury stuff. She soured on him pretty quick. Bummer she didn't collect Marc-Andre Fleury, he's much more likeable. But "Flower" debuted right before the lockout. 

Once we got married, she stopped collecting hockey cards and saved every spare penny for our first home. She was always financially responsible, and we didn't have a decent enough income for the fun things we used to do before - dinners, movies, hockey games, card shows, concerts - until recently.

In recent years, her favorite bands were Muse and Nothing But Thieves. A few days ago I washed and folded about a dozen of her t-shirts/hoodies of just these two bands. We saw Muse together four times, and NBT twice. 

Before she got sick I was able to make small purchases at Target and on Sportlots. I even made it to a fairly big card show shortly after she was diagnosed. There have been local shows since, including one in a mall right after my birthday. She wasn't able to go to any of those.
 

Since I was about eight years old, sports cards have been a constant in my life. A comfort in hard times. But there's no way that retail therapy can get me through this. I'm planning to finish the 1956 Topps Set for my girls' college fund, but not much else seems worthwhile hobby-wise. I might pick up some hockey cards here and there as a reminder of our first years together - though Di wasn't really keeping up with current players after our daughters were born.  

I'm still collecting cards though. Too many. 

I don't want any more of these for a while. 

Thank you all for your sympathy and well wishes. I'll talk to you again soon.

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eBay adventures

Bought a complete base set of 2024-25 Upper Deck hockey from an eBay seller in Quebec. The cards arrived today, and ... it's not complete. There were five duplicate cards, and two missing cards: 

Filip Forsberg and Jonathan Quick aren't superstars, nor are they French-Canadian (Forsberg is Swedish; Quick's hometown is right next to mine). Probably just an oversight. But that means I have to go back to Sportlots one more time to actually complete this set. Guess I'll pick up some Whalers and Devils while I'm there... 

One of the cards I submitted to BGS for grading is a Filip Forsberg Panini Prizm rookie card. I picked up the Blue Pulseczar Prizm on COMC a couple years ago and if the grade is high enough, it's going to look awesome in a slab. Here's a J.T. Miller Blue Pulsar for context: 

That order should return to me by the end of July. There's a couple other hockey RCs in there, along with a Jackson Chourio Mojo Refractor and a couple low-numbered basketball inserts. 

eBay really is a necessary evil for collectors. I wish I didn't have to buy or sell on that godforsaken site, but it's the easiest way to offload unwanted cards and collectibles. A few weeks ago I listed a medium flat rate box of about 2,500 football cards in an auction. Here's the key pic, and the description:

This medium flat rate box is FILLED with over 2,500 football cards from Panini Prizm, Donruss, Donruss Optic, Topps, Upper Deck, and more. 90% of these cards are modern football from 2000-2024 and more than half are from 2020-2024. Lots of stars and parallels in this box plus a few inserts and rookies of players such as Josh Allen, Jalen Hurts, Caleb Williams, Tony Gonzalez, Barry Sanders, Derrick Henry, Justin Jefferson, Rome Odunze, Marvin Harrison Jr., J.J. McCarthy, Christian McCaffrey, and many more!!

The buyer was "extremely disappointed" because there were only a few rookies and the rest was "junk". I told her (based on the name I assumed it was a female bidder) that the cards pictured and described were all shipped. 

It was pretty obvious that she (or he) was trying to flip this lot and make a couple hundred dollars. Why else would they be disappointed with hundreds of recent base cards from Panini Prizm and Donruss, which included hundreds of semistars and stars. 

So, because they bid over $70 for this huge box of cards, which included a Caleb Williams Prizm parallel RC and got exactly what was shown here... I got neutral feedback "unsatisfactory" 

I petitioned eBay to remove it because there was no reason for this comment but they're very pro-bidder.
 

On a lighter note, Fuji asked about the mystery batting champion whose mother bought his card from my friend. And since no one else is reading this, I don't mind sharing ;)

My guy Baseball Brittie does much more volume than me, and seems to have much better luck with customers (not just DJ's mom) I don't think I've ever plugged his store, so if you absolutely must shop on eBay and you see something you like, tell him Chris The Collector sent you. He'll hook you up!

In more personal news, my wife is doing much better. We visited my family and best friend in CT for the first time since February (when she couldn't eat and had to go the hospital for a week) Everyone commented on how much healthier she looks. She's been eating solid food again, and has much more energy than she did even a month ago. 

And we breathed a huge sigh of relief this week. My insurance company was in negotiation with the cancer center that Mrs Collector has been visiting and there was a last-minute agreement to continue coverage. If they didn't agree to terms and our hospital was no longer in-network, our only options would have been to rush the surgery to squeeze it in before Continuity of Care would have ended August 31st, or pay tens of thousands of dollars out of pocket. Yeah. No.

Luckily, all is well and we don't have to rush. But her improvement has me hopeful that we could schedule her for the end of August anyway.

I've got a significant anniversary coming up, which is somewhat tied to an NHL anniversary as well..

Thanks for reading!



~

p.s. even though the UD hockey cards I bought were advertised as a complete set and I did not receive a complete set.. I left positive feedback and didn't bother the seller about the two missing cards. I'm not petty. 

Thoughts, Ideas, Updates

I hope everyone is enjoying the spring and the playoffs. This May has been a memorable one, for obvious reasons. Probably looking at a difficult summer so I'll post whenever I can - even if it's only once a month.

Here are some cards I acquired over the last four weeks:

Sold a few of my card show pickups and bought one of the bigger non-HOFers I needed for the 1956 Topps set. This Klu brings me to 87% completion.... of the first series :)

Sportlots cheapies (the Packer is Romeo Doubs). I would have been tempted to buy a blaster of Bowman Chrome University if my local Target had any. The last time I went, the card aisle was all non-sports and UFC. Very disappointing :/

For the first time since the mid 1990s, I think I've watched more playoff basketball this spring than playoff hockey. It's been fun to see new teams and players make a run. Celtics-Mavericks will be interesting(assuming they finish the job). I like Luka Doncic but I'm a New England guy so I've gotta cheer for the Celtics. Plus, if Boston wins I get a $50 gift card to Amazon courtesy of my office newsletter contest:

You had at least one correct guess for questions 1 & 2 for our NBA/NHL contest. You will be receiving an email with a link to your Amazon gift card next week. We will announce these results in our next newsletter.

Good luck with your entry for the final winning teams!

Already won $40 for predicting the Celtics, Mavs, Rangers, and Oilers as conference finalists. Maybe I'll buy a blaster of something 🤔

I won't win $50 for the NHL contest because I picked Colorado to win the Cup. The Stars-Oilers series reminds me of the early-round battles between those two teams at the height of my hockey fandom. Dallas almost always wins, it doesn't matter if the Oilers have two of the five best players in the world.

Personally, I think if when the Stars win the West, their Twitter account should team up with the Texas Rangers and Mavericks accounts to troll the Cowboys -- How many playoff games have you won this century??!?! 

 

And another thing, did you know that the Stars' ownership of the Oil isn't just a Texas thing? 

I sure wish that some of my favorite sports-centric content creators gave a crap about hockey, because this would make an amazing Secret Base video or a 30 for 30 episode:

They brought down a dynasty.
Then they participated in an expansion draft.
Then they relocated. 

Not as much as I think about the 1991 North Stars

Speaking of 30 for 30... it's odd that something created by Bill Simmons kicked off with a hockey story, but the first episode in that long-running series was about Wayne Gretzky's trade to the Los Angeles Kings.

I finally picked up this iconic card for $5 on eBay. Just need a Brett Hull RC to complete the 198-card set.

I've got a COMC order due to arrive around the first week of July but I might not post about it until August. In addition to the Athletics series I have another idea that I might publish first. But I'm not going to mention it until I know I can complete it. That will depend on how my wife is feeling.

As of now, she's just really tired. The chemo is taking its toll on her, mentally and physically. She's unable to eat much, and she is seeing a nutritionist/dietician/food expert person tomorrow. It's been heartwarming to see how much love and support she's received from friends and family, in real life and online. Gift baskets and boxes and cards have been piling up, and her mom-friends have been super helpful and kind. I passed along the well wishes she received from my blogger friends as well.

or just elbow it in the face, eh Trouba?

There was a meeting at work and my boss's boss was here from the New York office. After the meeting she and the big boss came to my desk. I actually thought I was in trouble for a second, but they just wanted to ask how the Mrs. is doing. My manager probably told them because I'll have to miss the company picnic next Wednesday for her next chemo treatment.

That's about all I've got for now. Hope to update you all again soon.

Thanks for reading!



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Give 'em their Flowers

Quick, name some active NHL goaltenders who are definitely going to the Hall of Fame. Off the top of my head I had four: Andrei Vasilevskiy, Sergei Bobrovsky, Igor Shesterkin, and his backup in New York.. Jonathan Quick.

Now, name five all-time great goaltenders of the 21st century. Go. Martin Brodeur, of course. Dominik Hasek was still a beast in the early aughts. Henrik Lundqvist (more frickin Rangers?!?), Roberto Luongo, and um...  Pekka Rinne?

Those would have been my lists until recently. One goaltender has been flying under my radar for about 20 years. Only when I cross-checked my hockey card wantlist and saw who was missing did I ask myself: Is Marc-Andre Fleury a Hall of Famer?

Within 24 hours of realizing I was missing this card for the 'uncommon' tier of my 2003-04 Topps Pristine set build, Fleury -- nicknamed "Flower" -- tied Patrick Roy for second on the NHL's all-time wins list.

551 wins, a Vezina trophy, three Stanley Cup rings, five trips to the Final (including one memorable run with the Golden Knights in their inaugural season), 73 shutouts in over 1,000 NHL games, and an Olympic gold medal with team Canada isn't just a Hall of Fame resume. It's most likely a first ballot entry for the first overall pick in 2003.

How could I possibly have forgotten Fleury? Well, I'm getting old. I'm not paying as much attention to every team in the league because I have less access to the games than I used to (thanks, ESPN+), and I simply forgot he was still playing, sharing netminding duties with (I had to look this up) Filip Gustavsson in Minnesota. Neither of them are playing particularly well. But, to be fair...

Flower is the oldest goalie in the league. Heck, he's the third oldest player in the league, trailing only Mark Giordano and Joe Pavelski(who probably deserves his own appreciation post). Like Adrian Beltre and Frank Gore in other sports, his place among the all-time greats at his position simply caught me by surprise.

I only truly appreciated Fleury when he left Pittsburgh and became the de facto captain in Vegas - and even then I couldn't root for him in the Final because the Knights were standing in the way of Washington's first Cup. Even if he has an Adam Wainwright-like struggle to get one more win he will still be second all-time with 552 NHL victories. And he'll get there with far less fanfare than this guy.

For the generation of hockey fans before mine, there's only one Flower -- Guy Lafleur:

 

 

While I never saw Lafleur play I certainly understood what a legendary player he was in the 1970s and '80s: five Stanley Cups as a key member of the Montreal dynasty, six consecutive 50-goal seasons, three consecutive scoring titles, and two Hart trophies as NHL MVP. An all-time great to be sure. But the two most fascinating things about "The Flower" in my mind happened before his NHL career began, and after it appeared to be over.

For those of you who aren't hockey fans, imagine a godawful franchise like the Athletics(sorry Fuji) or Pistons. They're totally bereft of talent and in desperate need of a young superstar to lift the franchise out of the doldrums. Now imagine that team is so short-sighted and incompetent that they trade their first round pick to the league's most powerful franchise. 

 

That happened in 1970 when Charlie Finley's California Golden Seals swapped first round picks with the defending Stanley Cup champion Canadiens. Montreal GM Sam Pollock knew another French-Canadian star was about to arrive, and he fleeced the Seals for the likely 1st overall pick. Then when it looked like Los Angeles might 'drop' to #1, Pollock traded two solid NHL players to the Kings to help them finish higher than the Seals, just so he could secure Lafleur.

What might have been..

Lafleur retired in 1984 as the Montreal dynasty was seemingly in the rear view. (The Habs won another Cup in 1986) In 1988, Guy was inducted into the Hockey Hall of Fame - his first year of eligibility. That summer, he decided he wasn't done and returned to the NHL as a New York Ranger.

An active player who was already in the Hall of Fame?!? It was unfathomable to me when I pulled his Nordiques cards in 1990-91, though it would happen again with Mario Lemieux a decade later.

Guy was the one player missing from my 1970s Canadiens collection until I added this 1976-77 Topps card in a fleury of year-end TCDB trades:

I might fill out the roster a bit but the collection is complete for now.

Since this is an NFL playoff weekend I would be remiss if I didn't acknowledge another Lafleur:

Packers head coach Matt LaFleur has his team in the playoffs for the fourth time in five years. He racked up an astounding 39 wins in his first three seasons, becoming the first head coach with three 12+ win seasons to start his career. If you read that Instagram post you may have noticed how many haters wanted to give the credit for that achievement to Aaron Rodgers - the same Rodgers who couldn't get it done against the Lions in the season finale last year, costing the Packers a playoff spot.

LaFleur did his best to manage Rodgers' insatiable ego, and when the Packers finally parted ways with their iconic quarterback, many predicted a long rebuild for the youngest squad in the NFL.

 

Instead LaFleur has his team back in the playoffs, facing the Dallas Cowboys in a matchup of passers with the top two touchdown totals in the NFL. Meanwhile Rodgers is making vague threats against comedians on Pat McAfee's show. But sure, Matt LaFleur owes all of his success to that guy. Okayyy. 

Regardless of tonight's outcome, the Packers have a bright future with young stars on both sides of the ball. It won't be long before Jordan Love, Jayden Reed, Christian Watson, Romeo Doubs, Luke Musgrave, Rashan Gary, Lukas Van Ness, and Quay Walker reach their potential and lead the Packers back to prominence. And it will be under the tutelage of the most underrated head coach in the game. 

Thanks for reading, and Go Pack Go!



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Puck Drop: My Personal Power Rankings

The 2023-24 NHL season is officially underway!

Inspired by Night Owl's baseball rankings, I've made a list of all 32 NHL teams in order of my personal preference and what I'm hoping for/expecting to see happen over the next eight months. Starting with...

#1 - New Jersey Devils

My boys!! The Devils' long rebuild officially ended last season with a 107-point season (just one win behind Carolina for first in the Metro) and a first-round win over the arch-rival Rangers. Trade deadline acquisition Timo Meier and homegrown forward Jesper Bratt are signed long term, as is captain Nico Hischier and superstar center Jack Hughes - who broke the franchise record for points in a season with 99. Adding Tyler Toffoli gives their already loaded lines even more firepower.

The Hockey Guy is picking 'em to win it all. The Hockey News... has always hated NJ so they can piss off.

What I want them to do: Bring the Stanley Cup back to New Jersey!

What I think they'll do: Start off slow, get desperate, make another major trade, and lose to a team I don't like (Carolina, Rangers, maybe even Toronto) in the Eastern Conference final.

#2 - Seattle Kraken

The Kraken immediately became my Western Conference favorite when they hired Whalers legend Ron Francis as General Manager. I love the city, I love the color scheme, and I was already a fan of two players they picked in the expansion draft - Jordan Eberle and Adam Larsson. Seattle made the postseason in their second year and advanced to the second round - where Dallas defeated them in seven.

What I want them to do: Beat the Kings, Oilers, and Avs and advance to the Stanley Cup final.

What I think they'll do: Lose to the Oilers in the first round.

#3 - Tampa Bay Lightning

When my teams are eliminated (often in the first round, if they make the playoffs at all) I'm left to choose a team to cheer for in the conference final or Stanley Cup final. That has turned me into a bit of a Lightning fan over the years, as I've watched Steven Stamkos, Nikita Kucherov, Victor Hedman, and Andrei Vasilevskiy form the backbone of a perennial contender. I often pick up cards of these players on COMC for 30 cents or less, and I wouldn't mind seeing them win one more (non-Covid) Cup before their window closes and the inevitable dominance of the Devils begins :D

What I want them to do: Win the Atlantic, eliminate Toronto and Boston, then lose to Jersey in the East final.

What I think they'll do: Struggle in net until Vasilevskiy is back and healthy. Trade for cheap rentals to bolster their suddenly sub-par forward depth. Lose a thrilling seven-game series to Boston in the first round.

#4 - Edmonton Oilers

After my Whalers moved south (and before I moved to New Jersey) the Oilers were temporarily my favorite team - largely because they were a small market former WHA franchise in danger of relocating, and I did not want to see that happen. Never has a championship series in any sport angered me as much as the 8th-seeded Oilers losing the Cup to those goddamn Canes in 2006. As is Oiler tradition, they're loaded with offensive talent but their defense is iffy and their goaltending is almost always their undoing. Is this finally the year for Connor McDavid, Leon Draisaitl, and co.?

What I want them to do: Lose to the Kraken in the conference final (keep that streak alive, Canada!)

What I think they'll do: Temporarily re-inherit my fandom after the Devils are eliminated, get my hopes up by beating the Stars and/or Knights in the West ... and crush my soul by losing to Carolina in the Cup final again. (keep that streak alive, Canada!)

#5 - Arizona Coyotes

The black sheep of the NHL, I irrationally root for this franchise to succeed because they are the underdog of all underdogs, because their fans have been through more crap than any other franchise's fan base anywhere, and because I know how it feels to love - and lose - an NHL team in my area. They're doing the rebuild right, and their owner actually cares about keeping the team in town (unlike a certain jackass in Oakland.)

What I want them to do: Make the playoffs, beat a Canadian team in the first round, and break ground on a new building in Arizona.

What I think they'll do: Continue their search for a local site to build their new arena while (Canadian) media diminishes their on-ice accomplishments with endless questions about relocation. Also, they'll miss the playoffs by about 3 points.

#6 - Boston Bruins

I really wanted the Bruins to win it all last year, even if they had to beat New Jersey to get there. Why? Because I knew Patrice Bergeron was going to hang 'em up at the end of the season. Bergy, David Krejci, and Taylor Hall are gone but Bad Marchand, David Pastrnak, and my boy Charlie McAvoy are still here. I'd chuckle if they did what the Lightning did a couple years ago - follow up a record-breaking regular season/disappointing postseason with an unexpected Stanley Cup win.

What I want them to do: Claw their way into the playoffs as a wild card and knock out Toronto or Florida before losing to the Lightning in round 2.

What they'll probably do: Lose to a Florida team in round 1.

#7 - Washington Capitals

This team is old and crusty and probably not making the playoffs. But as long as they have Alex Ovechkin, I'll be happy to see them win.

What I want them to do: Beat the Penguins for the final playoff spot in the Metro, then lose to Jersey in round 1.

Whet they'll probably do: Milk the Gr8 Chase like a cash cow to distract from their aging, mediocre roster. Finish sixth in the division again and miss the playoffs.

#8 - Florida Panthers

This is why small-market southern US teams should ignore the vultures up north and stick to their plan. The Panthers couldn't draw flies to their arena three years ago, but now that they're winning the [Insert Name of Bank Here] Arena is sold out every night. Matthew Tkachuk chose to play for Florida and immediately led them to their second-ever Stanley Cup final. I hope it won't be another 27 years before they return.

What I want them to do: Sell out every game, build on their momentum, and win another playoff series or two.

What I think they'll do: Exactly what they did 27 years ago -- follow up a shock-the-world Conference championship with a disappointing first-round exit.

#9 - Vegas Golden Knights

I watched about 30 seconds of the Monday Night Football Manningcast last night - just long enough to hear Jimmy Kimmel list all of the great things going on in Vegas: the Raiders, U2, Formula 1 Racing, and... that's it. Certainly no championship teams in town raising any banners tonight. Nope, no sir.

Jimmy Kimmel is a turd. Seth and Stephen are my guys anyhow. As are Jack Eichel and William "Wild Bill" Karlsson. The Knights' ruthless roster management angered some fans (and players) along the way, but I don't like many Western teams and I'm happy to see hockey thrive in the desert.

What I want them to do: Beat Calgary or the Kings in the first round, lose to the Oilers or Kraken in the second round.

What I think they'll do: Make their fourth conference finals appearance in their seven-year history.. and lose a close series.

#10 - Toronto Maple Leafs

I'm dreading the day when this insufferable franchise wins their first Stanley Cup since 1967. But I like the city as a whole and I don't dislike any of their players (except Max Domi).

What I want them to do: Squeeze under the salary cap by sacrificing any competent goaltending. Anger(or excite) an entire nation by inexplicably missing the playoffs.

What I think they'll do: Win the Atlantic and reach the Eastern conference final (but not the Stanley Cup final because they're the Maple Leafs.)

#11 - Buffalo Sabres

The Sabres are stuck in a brutal division full of teams I like a little more, but it would be a great story to see them end the longest active streak of non-playoff seasons in North American pro sports*.
*tied with the NY Jets

What I want them to do: Make the playoffs as a wild card and let the Jets have that playoff-less streak to themselves.

What I think they'll do: My gut tells me they'll make the playoffs but I just can't see how they'll surpass two of Boston, Florida, Tampa Bay, Toronto, or Ottawa  -- or how they'd finish ahead of the fourth-place team in the Metro.

#12 - Vancouver Canucks

Like their 1970 expansion brethren in Buffalo, the Canucks have gone 53 years and counting without raising Lord Stanley's mug. I like their roster a tiny bit more (they have a Hughes brother) but Buffalo has never won anything. Vancouver got their glory in the 2010 Olympics (against Sabres/USA goalie Ryan Miller, it should be noted). Also, Buffalo didn't burn their city to the ground when they lost the Cup in '99. Advantage: 'Murica.

What I want them to do: Trade Quinn Hughes to New Jersey and form a family reunion with Jack and Luke.

What I think they'll do: Make a strong push for the final wild card spot out West.

#13-14 - Ottawa Senators, San Jose Sharks
#15-16 - Minnesota Wild, Nashville Predators

These are all teams that probably won't make the playoffs (although the Wild have a shot) and I'm neutral on them. In the interest of keeping this post relatively brief, I've grouped them together here. If they make the playoffs, cool. If they beat a team I don't like, cool. If they beat a team I do like, not cool.

#17 - Colorado Avalanche

They're a good team I have no reason to hate, but I have never once rooted for them in a Final. If they win the Cup (again) I hope it's only because they beat teams I haven't mentioned yet. Cale Makar is the best all-around defenseman in the NHL - not some guy who racks up power play points and a minus-12 rating.

What I want them to do: Beat the Central teams I dislike more, then lose to a Pacific team in the Conference final.

What I think they'll do: Lose to Dallas or St. Louis in the divisional round.

#18-20 - New York Islanders, Detroit Red Wings, Calgary Flames

Three more 'bubble teams' that don't bother nor interest me. Each would have to bump a team I like better in order to make the playoffs. My favorite Islander is their octogenarian general manager.

#21 - Chicago Blackhawks

The franchise itself has some serious issues, but the current roster is more exciting than some teams I've ranked higher. The 'Hawks are in total rebuild mode and have assembled an experienced supporting cast to shepherd the next "generational" superstar, Connor Bedard. I like Taylor Hall, I like the city, and I want to see Bedard live up to the hype.

What I want them to do: Keep accumulating high draft picks, and find a way to unload Seth Jones' albatross contract.

What they'll probably do: Lose a lot of 6-4 games. Trade almost every veteran except Jones. Pick 3rd in next year's draft.

#22 - Montreal Canadiens

Their "Western" Conference championship in 2021 was a fluke for a number of reasons. There isn't much talent on this team, and little hope of making the playoffs. But it would be nice if the next Canadian team to win the Cup was the last Canadien team to gagner la Coupe Stanley.

What I want them to do: Fire Martin St. Louis. Retire Carey Price's number. (Moar bannarzz!)

What they'll probably do: Finish last in the Atlantic Division, again.

#23 - Philadelphia Flyers

The Flyers were actually my favorite Eastern team for a time, back when the Legion of Doom roamed the ice. I dropped them after the Bobby Clarke/Eric Lindros saga became unbearable and John LeClair left. Cam Atkinson is the only current Flyer I like. Tony DeAngelo and Ivan Provorov have been purged so they're slowly climbing back up my rankings. Carter Hart still sucks.

What I want them to do: Trade Atkinson to the Bruins for pennies on the dollar.

What they'll probably do: Win the draft lottery after a miserable season.

#24 - Anaheim Ducks

Another team run by a former Whaler. I can't say I'm rooting for Pat Verbeek to succeed though - at least not here. In my book, the Ducks will always have that Pronger/Parros/Perry stench on them. Former Devil Adam Henrique is still hanging around and Trevor Zegras is exciting... but I've just been informed he's dating some TikTok bimbo named Dixie. 🙄  I like John Gibson though.

What I want them to do: Rebuild Gibson's trade value and/or ship him out to St. Louis for Jordan Binnington.

What they'll probably do: Inch their way back to playoff contention.

#25 - Los Angeles Kings

If I'd done these rankings yearly, L.A. would have appeared everywhere from 13 to 30. Future HOFers Anze Kopitar and Drew Doughty are still here and slowly converting me from 'dislike' to 'respect'. Jonathan Quick is gone, and neither of his successors are any good. But the reason they rank so low this year is because overrated pissbaby Pierre-Luc Dubois has James Harden-ed his way off of yet another team. But he promises that he's really going to be happy here, for real this time. I will LOL when this blows up in L.A.'s face.

What I want them to do: Miss the playoffs.

What they'll probably do: Trade for a goalie and go on a deep playoff run.

#26 - Pittsburgh Penguins

In a related story... when Erik Karlsson was stuck on a rebuilding Senators squad he asked for and received a trade to a team with a rapidly aging core desperate to extend their contending window. It didn't work out in San Jose, so the league's "best" "defenseman" finagled his way onto a team with ... a rapidly aging core desperate to extend their contending window. I hope it works just as well for him here.

What I want them to do: Lose the last playoff spot to their equally aging arch-rivals in Washington.

What they'll probably do: Make one last run with the Crosby/Malkin/Letang core. Karlsson will pile up another 100+ points and win another Norris trophy over several defensemen who play better defense but don't score as much.

#27 - Dallas Stars

The Stars have been in Dallas for over 30 years, they've been contenders for most of that time, and I could not care less. Their wintermint gum uniforms are stupid - but they're better than this abomination. Their roster is deep and talented and I don't hate anyone here. I just don't like Dallas. I don't like the Cowboys. I don't like that the Rangers are buying their way into an all-Texas matchup with the Astros in the ALCS. I do like Luka Doncic, but he's going to waist with the Mavs. And I really don't like that the only Dallas-area team I can tolerate is the only one that sucks.

My favorite thing about the Stars of the past few years is this tweet.

What I want them to do: Lose to Minnesota. Every year. For eternity.

What they'll probably do: Win the Central, then lose to the Oilers or Knights in the Western final.

#28 - St. Louis Blues

The Blues don't have any superstars or exciting young players. They have a handful of guys who are decent to good. That's it. It's appropriate that the team in the middle of America is so... mid.

So why are they my 5th-most disliked team? Jordan Binnington is a jackass, their thugs broke Zdeno Chara's jaw in the 2019 final - and then they beat Boston in game 7. I'm glad they didn't move to Saskatoon though.

What I want them to do: Deport Binnington. Or trade him to Anaheim. Whatever, just let Joel HOFer have the starting job.

What they'll probably do: Earn the fourth seed in the Central and lose to Dallas in the playoffs.

#29 - Columbus Blue Jackets

Longtime readers of this blog may remember that I sang the praises of the BJ's just three short summers ago. So... what happened? Well, they are an incredibly forgettable and incompetent franchise with precious few playoff appearances in their nearly quarter-century of existence - yet no one wants them to move to Quebec. Johnny Gaudreau inexplicably chose to sign with this team (over Calgary, New Jersey, and Philly) and they got worse. They traded for and signed homophobic Putin supporter Ivan Provorov. They hired abusive lunatic Mike Babcock as head coach - then fired him before the season even started. They're a train wreck. I love it.

What I want them to do: Continue being irrelevant, then move to Milwaukee or some shit.

What they'll probably do: Improve drastically and make contenting teams miserable.

#30 - New York Rangers

I don't have to explain this, do I?

I'll say this though - Henrik Lundqvist was impossible to dislike. And even after he retired there was a scenario in which I would have grudgingly cheered for them in a playoff series. Luckily the Devils beat the damn Blueshirts in the first round last year and that second-round scenario was rendered moot.

What I want them to do: Continue losing to Jersey in the Metro playoffs. Or - even better - miss the playoffs. Butcher the development of Alexis Lafreniere and Kaapo Kaako so Gary doesn't give them any more lottery picks ever again.

What they'll probably do: Fend off the resurgent Penguins and pesky Blue Jackets to earn another playoff berth.

#31 - Winnipeg Jets

You would think that a fan base who lost their team would show some class and empathy toward other fan bases who might lose theirs. Nope, the citizens of Winterpeg are vultures who not only hunt and peck at fans in non-traditional markets but they still actively hate the man who gave them the Thrashers with no resistance whatsoever. Also, while Jets fans act like Americans don't care about hockey the Jets themselves have frequently iced a roster with ten American-born players. They might sell out their minor league arena every night but free agents do NOT want to go there. They don't even have an airport!

What I want them to do: Follow the blueprint of the O.G. Jets - miss the playoffs or lose in the first round every year until they move to a city in the American south. Or Hartford. I'll take Hartford.

What they'll probably do: Miss the playoffs or lose in the first round every year. And stay there.

#32 - Carolina Hurricanes

The Toilet Bowls have officially existed longer than the Whalers did. I should get over it. I won't. The Whalers never got to benefit from a salary cap and revenue sharing. The Hurricanes won the Stanley Cup immediately after a year-long lockout and said salary cap. They only won that final because Rod Brind'Amour cheated in the faceoff circle throughout the series and Andrew Ladd intentionally injured the Oilers' goalie. It was enough to make me wish the league stayed locked out. Forever. Seriously, f*ck this f*cking franchise. I almost had to root for the Rangers in the playoffs last year. The Rangers!!

At least the team has a Whalers night once or twice a year. That's cool I guess.


What I want them to do:

What they'll probably do:

What are you hoping for this season?



Thanks for reading!



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