Since nobody's reading this anyway...

 I pre-ordered two boxes of 2026 Topps Update, as it will be the final final box of cards I buy. Also I might make my way to the Cranford card show this weekend. We'll see what the budget allows. 

Jeremy (Karensjer on TCDB / Topps Cards That Never Were here on blogger) sent me a bunch of 2026 Topps set fillers, along with a couple extras:

My goal was to complete the base Topps set before I started Update. It appears I have done so, but I wont know fore sure until all my TCDB trades arrive and I have time to put all of my stacks of cards in order. Jeremy, thanks so much for the set help and the extras for my PC!

You're outside mowing your front lawn the other daayyyyyy.....

So there's this woman in my neighborhood, she's about my age I think? I've never actually spoken to her myself* but my daughters saw her at a carnival not long after Di passed. They came home, told me that she introduced herself as "your neighbor" and asked what happened to their mom. But before my girls could answer, she said "no wait--don't tell me." So they didn't. I asked for more details and my oldest said that she's the mom of the kid who nearly choked to death at school(custodian gave him the Heimlich, saved his life. It was in the paper.) Then M added "And I think her husband killed himself." 😯

*I think she saw me putting up Halloween decorations last October and we said "hello"

And so I'd walk by her house and wonder about her and her life and why her car is outside during work hours and why it's gone during lunch hour, and does she have a man or is she lonely?

I'm not stalking her or anything. She lives two houses down from me and in the direction of my office. 

So, yeah, for the past 10 months or so there's been this thought in the back of my mind that there's a woman in my neighborhood that may or may not be single and may or may not be widowed and I should probably meet her and see what's up. But encountering this woman has been surprisingly difficult; she appears about as frequently as a pink sheep.

actually, she is the pink sheep in this analogy but.. whatever

And then, on Saturday, while I was pausing to take a drink in between mowing my lawn and trimming my azalea bushes.. Pink Sheep just walks right in front of me. She opens the side gate of my neighbors' house and hops the steps to the side door. I'm sitting on my front steps, sipping my drink. 

"Hello." She says to me. I keep sipping. I wave. 

I suck. 

Welp, not sure why she used the side door but... back to mowin' 

The married couple next door greeted her and let her in. She left through the same door about 15-20 minutes later. Aside from being a bit jealous of my neighbors and wondering what was wrong with their front door, I put it out of my mind.

It rained the next morning. My sister visited to try and jump Di's old car that hasn't moved since April. She couldn't jump it. The battery is cooked, and I have to turn in the plates because the insurance is about to run out. Rather than renew it and keep it for my daughter I'm just going to sell it. Anyway...

That night, I took out the recycling. My cans are right up against the fence of the neighbors, and when their dogs are outside I'm often startled until the lady next door calls them inside. 

So that happened. But it wasn't my neighbor. It was their neighbor. "Guys, come on." She pleaded with the dogs. That doesn't sound like... I looked up. It was Pink Sheep. [editor's note: you're not going to call her that for the whole story, are you?]

She's staying at the neighbors?!? She's right there?!? 

I deduced that they had gone on vacation and needed someone to house sit/ dog sit. Neighbor Lady [there, you happy?] - who apparently lives alone because her son is in college now and does not appear to have a husband or boyfriend or anything - offered to help out. And so far I have wordlessly waved and been startled by the doggos. 

And then yesterday... I usually wake up around 7:40, but a noise outside my bedroom window got me out of bed a bit earlier. I opened the curtains to look outside at my neighbor's house and... Shit! That's her! 

In my haze I'd forgotten she was staying there. And of course she saw me seeing her open the side gate. Great. So now I look like a stalker. 

Work was kind of a blur. I didn't have much to do, and so my mind naturally wandered. I watched a couple of videos about the loneliness epidemic. Social media, smart phones, Instagram, dating apps.. they've all degraded our social skills. No one knows how to talk to people anymore. I don't fuck with that stuff. I was just married for 20 years and with the same woman for 25. I haven't had to worry about this shit since before 9/11. That's my excuse. 

And so, in between doing my actual work and giving myself an anxiety ulcer, I thought of a few conversation starters on the suddenly White Sheep-level odds that I'd run into her again. Not over thinking things, just.. preparing. [editor's note: Naah. You're not over thinking this at all.. 😏]

Got home around five, as per usual. Walked by her house, as per usual. Walked by my neighbor's house, as per usual. Didn't see her. As per usual. It was a beautiful afternoon and the girls were in their rooms doing homework, so I took my bike outside for a stroll around the neighborhood. And then, since I had already worked up a bit of a sweat, I did some more yard work (I hadn't done the back yard on Saturday.) 

An then I took out the garbage. By then it was almost sunset. Time for dinner. I threw a pizza in the oven. Figures. I thought. When I'm ready for her... she ain't there. 

Then I remembered I have to turn in the plates to Di's car. Why not unscrew them after 8 pm? In the dark? I would have done this anyway, because I would forget if I put it off. But I kinda hoped that the dogs would bark and the woman would come out and investigate, like What the hell are you doing? And then I could say Oh hey, can you hold my phone flashlight for me? Thanks. That didn't happen. 

I decided to work from home today, for several reasons. The girls have a half-day and I've got to go to their Back To School night tonight. My boss is out sick, and the work load has been meager, so I'm not missing much. Oh, and I don't know how much longer Neighbor Lady is going to be my actual neighbor. 

Got up early, got dressed and ready in case someone happens to be outside at some point in the sevens. Heard a noise in that general direction around 6:50 and slowly lifted a tiny bit of my curtain... she's early.

I quickly drew back the curtain. She didn't see me this time. Damn. I thought. She's fit. This made sense to me; her son plays soccer and I think she hosted a yoga thing once? A while back there was a fuckton of cars parked all over the place and these randos all got out and walked down the street, carrying yoga mats. I didn't see where they were going, but they didn't stop next door... 

And yet, I go for walks around the neighborhood. I ride my bike around. I never see her. 

One one hand, I know I'm over thinking this and it sounds ridiculous. I'm world historically bad at social situations and my first instinct is always to avoid them and I should stick to that. 

On the other hand, if my intel is correct and this woman is widowed.. who better to talk to and cope with? Our mutual neighbors are a married couple. And they know this lady well enough to ask her to watch their house and dogs because at some point they spoke to her. She must be friendly, yeah?

This makes too much sense on paper, I just gotta break through. Death to the loneliness epidemic! 

And, if I'm being honest, my dementia-addled mom keeps pushing me to get out there, make friends, find a woman, blah blah.. shes's afraid I'm lonely. 

I am lonely. 

my god, I'm so lonely.

Mitski gets it.

Thanks for reading this secret post :)

~